How Are You Living!?
It’s the first Monday of the Month – Its Modern Monday!
I am super excited to come to you as a brand new 30-year-old and let me say this – I haven’t brought in a birthday this fabulous since I got engaged and that was an amazing moment in my life regardless of what has transpired. In the moment I was irrevocably happy. Last week my sister gifted me and my eldest sister a trip on the Oprah and O Magazine’s girlfriends cruise. Outside of being on a cruise breathing the same ocean air as Oprah (which was unreal) I was in the presence of women who were LIVING. It wasn’t that they were successful…because that ship smelled like old and new money…it was that they were hell bent on making the most out of life, where they were in life and with what they have. Traveling is something that I wanted to do but didn’t have the means or really had any idea to accomplish it. I would make excuses such as the lack of time or the nuance of cost but in all honesty, those weren’t it at all, it was me. Being afraid to LIVE based on the definitions of life I confined myself in. In my head – all I knew was that I wanted to be a wife and a mother but there is so much more to life than being that or being that doesn’t mean I can’t LIVE my life the way I see fit either. And the way I see my life is to live it.
The sun on my skin wasn’t hot, it was warm – the air so clean that it whipped through my locs in a dance only the ocean wind could provide. I ran comfortably on the 11th deck track over a month after I sprained my ankle. I didn’t feel winded or tired, no, I had this confidence in my stride and for the first time in a long time it was pretty amazing to not worry about the jiggle of my waist or thighs – the physical imperfections of two lost pregnancies and depression had caused, the freedom of my mind and mental block of my own disappointments allowing my entire body to actually cooperate and feel freedom in wanting to better myself and lose weight. Who knew time in the middle of the ocean was needed to break free? Granted I’ve been on a path to this moment for some time now, but I want to tell you that once you start the journey of true intrinsic happiness (joy), life becomes limitless and not so daunting. The ideas I had for myself no longer matter or give me anxiety because I am 30 years old and not in the space I dreamt of for over 18 years. Of course, I have long term goals but during my journey, I am going to not only live but thrive.
If you are anything like me then you have a slight obsession with Hobby Lobby – if you need a spiritual uplift just walk the store, you will find that. For $3 I found this little pocket (well purse) size book called “God’s Promises – For Your every Need” pulled from the New King James Version. * It was the only book of its kind in the stand and I immediately picked up it. For $3, why not!? There is a section called “What Can You Do to Grow Spiritually”:
…Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all… 1 Timothy 4:15
My journey started with meditation, first to calm my mind and spirit but next to manifest my wants and needs through God. I created a vision board and was intentional about what I placed on it. I meditated over those pictures and words and prayed over my ability to reach, ultimately, for happiness that bubbles from my gut and pours out in waves where people will not only notice but be inspired. I don’t want to just be the strong friend who has gone through stuff. I don’t want to wear that as a badge of honor. It’s not. What I’ve gone through is awful and I was able to make it to this side on the strength of God, not myself: I believe that God gives us the tools to overcome all of the human disappointments and hurts and I am on that path because I’ve given myself fully to being this whole person – this healthy and happy woman, not because of what I’ve been through but because I made a decision to be above the BS – the BS is part of my story but it does not define my story.
From the mouth of my Aunt Oprah Winfrey, “You do not become what you wish for. You become what you believe. Everything that has happened TO you has happened FOR you. Use everything that you didn’t have to build upon what you can have…take what you have been given and use it to propel forward. What you have been given is what you have been called to use.”
Did she preach or did she preach? I know she spoke to my soul and now I am passing that on to you. You are above what has happened to you…you are a walking testimony. I must remind myself that I don’t have to always speak on tragedy to show that I have evolved past it. It will manifest in my actions, in my belief and trust in not only God but in myself. I need to believe I have my own “Becoming” story and I am just in Part II of my book of life.
I say all of this to say, from this day forward make it your mission to LIVE. It is never too late. If you have breath in your body you manifest, you believe in the present and future that you want. Don’t wish for this life – LIVE this life that you believe in. I know I am.
“Great faith is the product of great fights, great testimonies are the outcome of great tests, great triumphs can only come out of great trials, every stumbling block must become a stepping stone and every opposition must become an opportunity.”
– Smith Wigglesworth
Be Blessed. Be Still.
*I personally do not use the King James Version (KJV) of Bible translation. The addition of “For thine is thy kingdom…” was added to the Lords Prayer and not found in earlier editions of the Bible. Due to this I do not speak that line when speaking the Lord’s Prayer and limit my use of the KJV. Although many translations have adopted this line, it is good to know and understand the version of the bibles you use and challenge yourself to seek knowledge from various translations. The KJV is a beautiful translation and is used throughout the Christian world regardless of my personal views.