God Bless the Broken Road
I haven’t really been a huge fan of Gospel music as church really hasn’t been something I’ve been consistent with so the actual energy to listen to Gospel music was never really in the forefront. Since I have been trying to get back in the church (another story for another time) there is this song that I heard that I’ve been listening to over and over again. A little about myself -- once I like a song of the moment, that song will get played at least twice a day, every day, for a full week. The song is called “Do it again”, original version I believe is by Elevation Worship but the more traditional gospel version is by Travis Greene. This song has been on repeat along with “God Bless the Broken Road” originally performed by Rascal Flatts but I have been listening to the version from the Greenleaf soundtrack sung by Deborah Joy Winans. I’ll get into that song a bit later.
“Promise still stands, great is your faithfulness, faithfulness…I’m still in your hands, this is my confidence, you’ve never failed me yet…”
Last week I spoke about being honest with God, especially when we feel God has disappointed us or caused heartache in our lives.
“I’ve seen you move, you move the mountains, and I believe, I’ll see you do it again. You made a way where there was no way; and I believe I’ll see you do it again…”
How do you see beyond your pain or beyond your current broken path? How do you remain faithful even in your anger? I don’t have all of the answers to that question and I can only speak for myself but being faithful and patient in God’s promise is what has held me steadfast on this broken path that I am on. God has blessed me in the past – why would I think he’d forsake me because things are seemingly going wrong in my personal life? Trusting God is one of the hardest things I have done outside of dealing with my current separation and losing children. I question how I can recover from these things that have caused such chaos in my own wellbeing. I’m going to tell you something, it is a struggle trying to combat the weariness I feel when it comes to balancing all of the things in my life. The daily road I travel, I take it one day, sometimes one minute at a time.
If you are reading, I am not certain if you have experienced martial separation or divorce. How do I explain it? It feels a little like death. Each day I am away from my husband, I am reminded of what has been lost between us. My dreams and my hope for this future I have painted, slowly diminishing. And let’s be honest, the idea of dating makes me physically ill. I still can’t imagine life without my family and honestly that is okay but it doesn’t lessen the actual feelings of separation – of this broken road I want God to bless, of the mountains I am waiting for Him to move or to make a way out of this situation that I’ve found myself in. You may reflect on a similar heartbreaking situation or death you have experienced that has crushed you and left you weary. Either way, sit down with God and ask to bless the broken road. You don’t want him to repair it for this road will forever be part of you. It will be a reminder of where you been and where you are headed with God’s guidance over you.
So how? How do you see beyond the pain – in an early blog I spoke about accepting what was today. Today I am separated, and I have two urns filled with my children’s ash’s. That sucks just saying that but there is nothing I can change that truth, today. However, today and the days that follow I am finding ways to help myself gain internal happiness again. What makes me happy? I have to reconnect with me. Not what made me happy 7 years ago but what makes me happy now as the woman that I am. I have to be ready for the fork in the road that will lead me in a direction that will impact my future. In order to do that I have to be ready to answer these fundamental questions: What do I want for me? What do I want from a lifelong partner? What do I need from a lifelong partner? How do I become the author of my own fate/blessing? As you are on this broken road – you need to be preparing yourself for that fork in the road – will you be ready? Have you been looking beyond your pain, beyond the cracked concrete that you may stumble or trip on, preparing yourself for the moment God gives you a decision to make?
“…but I got lost a time or two, wiped my brow and kept pushing through. I couldn’t see how every sign pointed straight to you…you’ve been there, you understand, it’s all part of the grander plan that is coming true...this much I know is true, that God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you”